Breaking cycles of self destruction and manifesting authenticity
I think scriptwriters have a need to relate, as a form of therapy as well as to help script development and so it has been really valuable to see others and spend a sunny weekend gathering in a marquee in Regent's Park and taking time to enjoy the good air, earth and conversation.
'What did you most enjoy about the festival?'
I pause to consider, when I along with everyone else am asked this on a questionnaire at the end of three days and I have to concede it is a bit nebulous, a mystery.
It isn't just the young, overwhelmed at meeting some of the cutting edge, avant garde here, some going up to say 'I love you' to Chris, hugging him, so it looks like a live audition for a new version of Fellini's 'City of Women'.
It is also the older folk, like Lance Nielsen, who lectures on the last day and explains that he was close to giving up on the creative industry and writing, until Chris insisted he come to one of his Guerilla Filmmakers workshops to recharge his batteries, where he met the entire Greek crew of his next film, now in progress.
Just like Chris himself, swept along by his own limitless enthusiasm and telling us in a talk entitled 'Manifesting Success' that if we are authentic in our own lives, it will rebound in our work: like his own decision, leading to meeting and committing to his partner now of eleven years when he broke a self destructive cycle of thinking women are laughing at him.
This fear having stemmed from a time when, at five years old, he mistakenly thought another five year old was laughing at him, for calling her beautiful and announcing his desire to 'marry her one day'. No doubt she was flattered, perhaps embarrassed or unsure of herself.
There is a sense of all pervading fun, driven by a spontaneous irreverence that I draw on, as I sense others do. If Judy Goldberg and Chris Jones keep it up I think I will bring my partner Laura next year
We are all swept along, by the reasoning that if we are enjoying each others company then it is probably alright to be crazy creatives. A sort of breakthrough for all of us in our lives. One of the women who comes to his lecture on manifesting success is convinced that she must be dedicated to her creative life, as well as having a relationship and a baby. Chris is thrilled that LSF is going to have a baby.
On another tangent it was worth following obscure parts of the festival as bushels often hide considerable light, which might if one is lucky bring forth a burning bushel or bush even for that matter, so I consider myself most fortunate to find that this phenomenon was made manifest by a woman who once taught me writing female characters, a preposterous presumption if ever; if one can write characters it must be from a good Freudian parental relation, or else result from a stitching together of wounds and bruises that have entered one's own psychic map, by mischance, or to be Buddhist about it, by good luck, for misfortune is a map of rainbow gold to those who have blind faith in blindness or sleepwalking being a key to treasure hunting. After all we all have so many experiences that we cover up, as unbearable, that is to say not what bears would like. So U N B E A R able simply refers to the wish to be a bear who cools his body, but stays warm enough in his thick skin to be able to survive. Many think winters are much colder in Siberia, than in the West, completely failing to take into account the fact of bearskins, bearing dreams so old and oiled like old oil lamps made from whale grease, that they completely warm the owner. The wise Mongolians and Siberians have long worn hides, to hide their fears, to meld with the minds of bears, to travel the road less travelled, where bears mind all paths with simple snoring rhythmic..snuggleability.
I imagine many people assumed I would reveal some morsel of the content of writing female characters but that would be breaking a code of honour, cos I think deep down, that no woman would ever want to reveal how she is written. It is demeaning like dissecting a vein or artery, to try and find the meaning of its flow, as though it is not just flowing for its own sensation of BEING.